I've been "tagged", but because of my firm belief that chain-quizzes like this are tacky/evil/perverse, I'm not going to do it.
What's going to happen to me? Bad luck for 13 years? Get mugged by a hobo wielding a bag of ice and/or tennis racket? Abducted by the Mother-Wheel?
Forced to use internet explorer?
Eleven more people were killed today in the middle east. Over cartoons published in a danish magazine about five months ago . And of course, the people killed had absolutely nothing to do with the cartoons anyways.
Haven't these people heard of writing a letter to the editor? Instead of torching the consulates of random western countries, thier retribution could be more like this:
"Dear Editor of Jyllands-Posten, I was greatly offended by the cartoons you published in your last issue depicting the prophet Muhammed in a demeaning manner. I think that there is a great misunderstanding about our faith. Perhaps you can come over some time, and we can discuss our feelings on this matter. I will bake delicious cookies*. "
-Rashid Al Abu, Iran
Then again... there is a certain apeal to making a total idiot of yourself in front of millions of people.
*Do people actually bake cookies in the Middle East?
I hate emoticons.
This is no secret. They are a putrid blight upon our technologically driven society, undermining hundreds of years of progress in the development of the english language, and sending us back to the ancient world where man crudely expressed his thoughts with hieroglyphics. If I were to use one word to sum up what emoticons are I would simply state: "crutches". They are crutches that people use to prop up thier flimsy writing skills. Using an emoticon is like broadcasting to the world: "I CAN'T PROPERLY EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS THROUGH MY WORDS SO I DECIDED TO EXPRESS THEM USING THIS CRAPPY, LOW-RES SMILEY FACE!". Sometimes an emoticon is used after a piece of humerous writing. In which case all the humor that may have existed suddenly dies. To illustrate this let's look at a piece of writing by retired humor columnist Dave Barry:
"It's time once again for the Winter Olympics -- three magical weeks during which all of America will gather in front of the television set to watch American Idol.
But during the commercials, some of us will also tune in to the Winter Olympics, a quadrennial competition that answers, once and for all, questions that burn in the brains of every true sports fan, such as: (1) Who will claim ''bragging rights'' as the world's best in the individual, sprint and team Nordic Combined? (2) What, exactly, IS the Nordic Combined? (3) Who the heck are the ''Nordics,'' anyway?"
Now let's see that again, but this time with emoticons.
"It's time once again for the Winter Olympics -- three magical weeks during which all of America will gather in front of the television set to watch American Idol. ;)
But during the commercials, some of us will also tune in to the Winter Olympics :), a quadrennial competition that answers, once and for all, questions that burn in the brains of every true sports fan ;-), such as: (1) Who will claim ''bragging rights'' as the world's best in the individual, sprint and team Nordic Combined? (2) What, exactly, IS the Nordic Combined? (3) Who the heck are the ''Nordics,'' anyway? :D"
As you can see, they shoot the humor right out of the water.
So please... stop polluting the world wide web with the acidic evil of tacky smily faces.
If you don't, I'll have no choice but to send John McLaughlin to take you on, and take you OUT, foo.
