Gore Isn't Running. Surprise!

"I have no intention to run for president"

-Al Gore

If you just skimmed past the quote above, go back and read it.

And don't just read it like you might read the nutrition facts on the side of a box of Cap'n crunch. Really read it. Linger over each and every syllable; let your soul absorb the very essence of the sentence. Now, close your eyes, clear your mind of all thoughts, and try to visualize the incredibly complex concept that Albert Gore Jr. was attempting to communicate with those beautiful yet simple words.

By now, assuming that you have a brain at least slightly larger than a pecan, most of you will probably have a pretty firm grasp of exactly what it was that Gore said:

Al Gore said he has "no intention to run for president".
This probably means that Al Gore does not intend to run for president.

It's too bad that millions of seal-hugging liberals and nostalgic journalists seem to have brains slightly smaller than pecans.

Yes, Al Gore won an Oscar and a Nobel Peace Prize. Yes, Al Gore is revered by hordes of young political zealots. But no, Al Gore will not be, and will not attempt to become, our nation's next president. Even if you were to completely ignore Al's repeated assurances that he will not run -- like so many have -- a Gore '08 campaign just doesn't make good sense. Why would he want to be the president when he's already an all-powerful environmentalist deity?

At this point in time, Al Gore has more influence and prestige than any single politician in the country. Our Democratic congress and our Republican president are both sinking into a bottomless pit of low-approval and general mistrust. So far, Al Gore has managed to hover above the mess by maintaining his status as a private citizen.

But If Al decides to return to politics -- presidential or otherwise -- his achievements so far will be marred by suspicion that his environmental heroics were motivated not by genuine concern for all things green and/or furry, but by an unbridled thirst for power. And in the case of the 2008 presidential race, an even greater danger could await poor ol' Al: the very real possibility that he might lose. If Al Gore lost the primary, which would be likely, given Hillary's massive hoard of campaign cash, and his less than three months to catch up, he would solidify his reputation as a loser, and severely damage his currently untouchable prestige in the eyes of young liberals.

The chance of losing isn't Gore's only concern. Politics is a messy, nasty game; Gore, of all people, knows this very well. If Gore enters the presidential race, he will be put under intense scrutiny by a previously-adoring media, and will almost certainly be subjected to vicious attacks from Democratic candidates who have had nothing but praise for Gore as a private citizen. It may be difficult to precisely predict what would happen in a hypothetical Gore '08 primary bid, but one thing is certain: Gore would not come out unscathed.

It's taken Al Gore nearly a decade since his humiliating presidential defeat to regain a prominent spot on the national stage. In the world of environmental activism, he wields an unprecedented amount of influence, and in the eyes of the media, Gore is the immaculate patron saint of one of the largest social movements of our day. Will Gore decide to risk it all for a chance to win the office that eluded him seven years ago?

He says he won't.

That's good enough for me.