Tim Russert (1950 - 2008)

In an era of increasing media fragmentation, with dozens of personalities jockeying for attention, there are few living journalists with the professionalism and integrity to rise above the fray. Today, our country has lost one of these rare individuals. I never knew Tim Russert. But I do know that he was one of the best political minds on television, with an unmatched gift for holding powerful men and women -- regardless of their political affiliation -- accountable for their words and actions. Tim Russert was not the first host of Meet the Press, and in short order, his vacant seat will be filled by someone else. But he will always be an irreplaceable figure in the realm of American politics.

Twilight.

For months, Hillary Clinton regularly disparaged the chorus of pundits who painted her failure as inevitable. While they proclaimed that the numbers just couldn't add up, she proclaimed with equal certainty that the will of the people (white, middle-class people) would defy all expectations and carry her to victory. Even when the last of the primaries came and went, still leaving her over 200 delegates behind Barack Obama, she confounded the nation by refusing to formally concede. Apparently, Hillary Clinton really wanted to be president. Who knew?

There's a fine line between hopeful and deranged; the Clinton campaign happened to cross it around a month ago. Fortunately, all bad things come to an end. Hillary finally found the inner strength to recover from her ambitious stupor last Saturday. But the damage has already been done.

Not damage to party unity. Despite what certain people say, I have a hunch that even the most ardent Hillary supporters will have enough sense to support their party after eight years of oval office exile. No, in the Clinton's desperate battle to get back to the white house, the biggest casualty was the Clinton's standing in the political power structure of America.

If you had compiled a who's who list of Democrats two years ago, Bill and Hillary Clinton would have been at the top of the pile. They may be easy targets for conservative commentators, but Democratic admiration for the power couple has remained strong for over 16 years. He was the charismatic president who presided over the prosperous '90s, and held the white house for two full terms -- something no Democratic president had accomplished in over forty years. She was his activist first lady, and afterwards, a high-profile senator representing one of the largest states in the country. The Clintons were winners.

When Hillary entered the fight for the Democratic nomination, she was the obvious favorite.

Then something happened. Bill and Hill, who once made "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow" their refrain, began to look very yesterday. Barack Obama was fresh, new, and exciting. Young voters flocked to him in droves. People wanted change, and for some reason, giving a couple who had already spent eight years in the white-house a return trip didn't seem to fit the bill. The soap-opera baggage that came with the Clinton name alone looked like it could potentially stain the new leaf party activists wished to turn over. Hillary's pragmatic record, particularly her vote in favor of the Iraq war, remained a thorn in her side for the duration of the primary race.

All of this seemed to come as a surprise to the ridiculously confident Mrs. Clinton. On December 30, 2007, Hillary triumphantly boasted that the race would "be over on February 5th". February 5th passed; the race continued. Obama proved that he could face Hillary head on and manage to hold his ground.

At this point, Bill Clinton did what any loving husband would do in this sort of situation: he went nuts. Lashing out at reporters. Ranting about unfair treatment. Making racially charged remarks. Bill Clinton unwittingly became a sideshow freak in the biggest media circus on earth.

Unsurprisingly, right-leaning outlets such as the Drudge Report were quick to jump all over Bill's outrageous remarks. But the left-wing grassroots wasn't about to rush to defend his honor. Instead, key liberal hubs like the Daily Kos, and the Huffington Post began to rival Rush Limbaugh for sheer contempt of all things Clinton.

A new generation of internet-savvy Democrats had taken the reigns, and their message to Bill and Hillary was clear: t3h shun!

The Clinton image was rapidly falling apart. After years of being treated to largely positive coverage focusing on his philanthropic ventures, Bill submerged himself in the muddy waters of politics, and came out looking like a buffoon. Hillary just couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was losing -- and desperately tried to claw her way to the top once more. As things so often happen, she also came out looking like a buffoon.

Now, the fight is over. Most Democratic voters will try to forget about their differences with one another, and unite behind Barack Obama. There will be no Clinton dynasty. The times, as Bob Dylan once said, are a changin'. In these times, there may be a place for Hillary and Bill Clinton. But starring roles? Not a chance.

How Could She? Did She? Who Cares?

Even by modern media standards, the reaction came hard and fast. What began as an article in the New York Post tabloid ended up as a lead story in the New York Times and the Washington Post, as well as every national cable and network news broadcast in the country. In the blogosphere, conservatives and Obama supporters alike raised their voices in unison to cry for the blood of the offending candidate. In short order, the Obama campaign called for an apology, and the mortified Clinton campaign was all too eager to offer one.

Hillary's alleged crime? Ruthlessly hinting that Obama could be assassinated, handing her the nomination on a silver, bloodstained platter.

For some, it didn't take a stretch of imagination to believe in the charges. Hillary is, after all, widely suspected to be on friendly terms with the forces of darkness, including, but not limited to, vampires, ogres, and those little buttons at crosswalks that don't seem to do anything, but that you still feel the compulsive need to press multiple times. What political tactics could lie beneath such an obviously diabolical personage?

Insinuating that her opponent could be assassinated, for one. Her words may have been poorly chosen, but there was no ambiguity about what she was actually trying to say. And unfortunately for all the sensational headline writers and rabid bloggers, what she was actually trying to say was perfectly normal.

But I think Hillary's words should speak for themselves. These are the words behind the firestorm, from an interview Hillary gave with the Argus Leader in Sioux Falls:

CLINTON: Between my opponent and his camp and some in the media there has been this urgency to end this. Historically, that makes no sense, so I find it a bit of a mystery.

EB: You don't buy the party unity argument?

CLINTON: I don't because, again, I've been around long enough. You know my husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. You know, I just don't understand it and there's lot of speculation...

In order to justify her efforts to prolong the race, Hillary tried to point out that the Democratic nomination process typically runs through June. She brought up two historical cases to back up her point. And yes, one of them involved someone getting shot. But the assassination wasn't the point -- the attention was meant to be placed on the fact that the 1968 primary race was still going in June. Given the larger context of Hillary's statement, it's absurd to read malicious intent into what was simply a clumsy statement.

Beneath all the layers of contrived controversy, there lies a fact that has gone almost completely ignored: Hillary's historical argument for extending the race is just plain stupid. In both of the presidential races she cites, the California primary was held in June. For people who need a refresher course in American population demographics, California is a big place where lots of people live. Thus, the California primary is generally considered to be a big deal. However, due to changes in the primary calendar, the 2008 California primary took place about three months ago. Montana and South Dakota are the only states left in the primary process, along with Puerto Rico, our friendly lil' territory to the south. Needless to say, the primary contests in these areas aren't exactly going to be game changers in the race.

In other words, the game is over, Hillary lost, and the media is desperately clawing for juicy scandals to boost ratings and/or circulation. In times like these, I'm proud to be an American.

The End of the Beginning.

Of course Hillary will try to spin it, but the truth is pretty obvious. Last Tuesday, Mrs. Clinton lost. Badly. And this time, there may not be a chance to make a comeback.

Hillary has had a few recent victories, but none of them were able to effectively cure her chronic case of delegate deficiency. She needed a miracle -- more specifically, a miracle in Indiana and North Carolina. With Obama entangled in a messy PR crisis over his bombastic pastor's troubling remarks, the timing seemed just right.

It wasn't. Although Hillary technically won Indiana, the home of one of her closest political allies, her astoundingly slim margin of victory turned it into an effective defeat. In North Carolina, Obama's massive 15-point victory crushed any hopes Hillary may have harbored of closing the pledged delegate gap. Now, only one question remains: is the Clinton campaign finished?

If this supremely unpredictable election has taught us anything, it's the fact that in American politics, nothing can be accurately predicted. Hillary Clinton is a remarkably resilient politician, and a vicious fighter when cornered. But this time, the sheer mathematics of the situation look pretty hopeless.

For over a month, the pundits have pointed out that, barring divine intervention, Hillary will reach the convention with fewer pledged delegates than Barack Obama. The Clinton campaign shifted its strategy accordingly, hoping only to narrow the gap significantly enough to entice the majority of the unpledged superdelegates to cross over to their side.

In the aftermath of Tuesday's primaries, that strategy appears to be dead. Not only has Barack Obama been able to expand his lead in both the number of pledged delegates and the popular vote, but once-timid superdelegates are boldly pledging their allegiance to Mr. Hope. For the first time ever, Barack Obama can claim the lead in every single column of the primary ledger.

Is it possible for Hillary to win? Yes. The superdelegates are free to cast their vote for any candidate they choose. In a freak twist of fate, they could all have a sudden epiphany and decide to vote for Hillary -- making her the nominee. But within the realm of reason, Hillary's chances aren't so good. If the party elites decide to arbitrarily snub the candidate that the majority of Democratic voters have chosen, it's a pretty safe bet that more than a few disillusioned Democrats will stay home on election day. After humiliating presidential defeats in 2000 and 2004, it seems doubtful that the Democratic leadership would plot a course straight towards a massive party schism.

According to multiple sources, the Obama campaign will declare victory on May 20th, following the Oregon and Kentucky primaries. For all practical intents an purposes, he might as well do it tomorrow. The news media is already slowly fading out its coverage of Hillary Clinton, silently acknowledging the end of a hotly contested race. A few outlets, such as Time magazine, have taken a less subtle approach.

And why shouldn't they?

We can't be completely certain about anything until after the convention. But we can be reasonably certain that Barack Obama will walk away from Denver as the Democratic party's nominee. In other words, phase one of the presidential race is over.

Phase two is just beginning.

Paradise Lost.

There is perhaps no one more hated by conservatives than Hillary Clinton -- but it's not an unpleasant kind of hate. Hating Hillary Clinton, as well as her husband Bill, is more like a form of political recreation. It's kind of like golf: you don't really have anything personal against the ball, but smacking it across the field still feels really good.

Conservatives may dread the thought of a Hillary presidency, but deep down inside, they know that a second Clinton presidency would mean a ridiculous amount of fun. The awesome jokes. The legitimate talk-radio rants. Lurid stories of White House scandal and power-grabbing you can finally feel good about. Just like the '90s, only with more YouTube, and less pets.com.

It's not as if Republicans are that worried about Hillary becoming president anyways. Things may be looking down for the GOP, but if any Democrat can lose in November, it's Hillary. Polarizing. Unappealing. Mired in the past. Hillary Clinton is a familiar target, and for over a year, Republican strategists have been looking forward to the prospect of shooting her down in the fall.

But for a while, it looked like Barack Obama would spoil the fun. As Hillary faded from the lead, and the possibility of Obama's nomination began to loom over the political landscape, Republicans were forced to come to two sad realizations:

1. The general election might be incredibly hard to win.
2. Obama isn't that fun to hate.

Or so it seemed. Due to his status as a relatively new player in Washington, Barack Obama was an unknown quantity. All anyone knew about him was that he looked -- as Joe Biden stated -- "bright, clean, and articulate". Oh, and really liberal. Unfortunately, a clean liberal is kind of hard to vilify. There was, of course, the issue of his suspicious middle name (Hussein -- like the Iraq guy!), and a baseless rumor about his secret adherence to Islam, but as far as tangible character flaws, things were pretty slim pickins'.

Luckily for the GOP, it turns out that Obama is less than a political saint. The first chink in Obama's armor appeared with the re-emergence of a story about the candidate's questionable relationship with indicted slum-lord Tony Rezko. It wasn't enough to start a mass exodus from the Obama camp, or even significantly dent his standing with the general public, but it was solid evidence that Barack Obama was just as flawed as the next guy.

Obama's kind-of-scary wife provided more red meat for Barack's growing crowd of detractors. Specifically, she broke the first and greatest commandment of the American religion: be really proud of thy country, all the time. Everyone involved in politics says things that are twisted around by their opponents for political gain, but Michelle Obama's comments didn't leave her much wiggle room. Essentially, she said that during her husband's campaign, she began feeling proud of her country for the first time in her adult life, with the obvious implication being that she's been ashamed of her country for the last 25 years. And this wasn't exactly an isolated incident: a lengthy profile in the New Yorker painted a detailed portrait of Michelle as an aspiring first lady with more than a few negative things to say about her country.

Mrs. Obama's comments sparked the flames of doubt about her husband's patriotism -- but his pastor's comments fanned the flames into a bona-fide firestorm.

Maybe the comments were taken out of context. Maybe Jeremiah Wright is actually a sweet old man who loves children and puppies. But let's face it: the phrase "God damn America" probably won't be showing up etched on folksy, country-store souvenirs anytime soon. The sheer vitriol of Pastor Wright's words shocked people. It just didn't add up that Mr. Nice Guy would choose to attend a church run by Rev. Nut Case. People wanted answers. Obama, with his typically persuasive rhetoric, delivered them -- sort of. Obama's I'm-not-my-pastor's-keeper speech was good, or at least, good enough for Democratic primary voters. Things could be a little different in the general election.

After the Rev. Wright controversy broke out, Republicans were overjoyed. They finally had the ammunition they needed to deflate Obama's Mr. Smith-like image. It was the kind of stuff that could really ruffle the feathers of the GOP's center-right, common sense coalition, and hopefully prevent a wide-scale desertion of the party in November. Who could ask for more?

Nobody asked for more. But Obama was kind enough to give it anyways. Speaking in San Francisco, Barack Obama made a few remarks about small-town voters in Pennsylvania. Remarks that seemed less than flattering. In Barack's estimation, small-town voters have become bitter because of the floundering economy. Due to this high level of bitterness, "they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." Naturally, the media -- along with Hillary and McCain -- raised the expected amount of ruckus, and Obama gave his expected response. Apparently, when Obama said that people cling to religion and guns, he meant it in a "I will cling to the old rugged cross" sort of way, not in a demeaning sense. I guess he also meant that small-town voters cling to "antipathy to people who aren't like them" in a positive way as well.

Obama is no longer the spotless paragon of virtue he was once thought to be. Some polls even show that a considerable percentage of Democrats will desert the party if he gets the nomination. An invincible candidate? Think again. He's made mistakes in the past, and will continue to do so in the future. And you can count on John McCain to exploit them in the general election.

Even better, conservatives finally have another Democrat they can feel good about despising. His elitist comments about small-town voters, paired with his America-dissing wife, and America-cursing ex-pastor, are the perfect ingredients for a lovin' spoonful of constant talk-radio/blog furor. Heck yes.

Enough Already.

After months of endless speculation, petty bickering, and contrived media circuses, the Democratic presidential primary is starting to make me sad. It's not that I'm particularly concerned about the amount of damage the messy infighting will have on the party. In fact, the sight of the two remaining Democratic gladiators disemboweling each other is the only thing heartening about the current political situation.

No, the problem is much deeper than that. When you get right down to it, the Democratic race just isn't fun any more.

Maybe it has to do with the lack of real news coming from the field. Since the March 11th Mississippi primary, no one has cast a single vote for either candidate. Essentially, the race has become a stagnant puddle of meaningless speculation.

Of course, there have been a few interesting scandals in the meantime, but they've only served as small breaks in the overall tedium. By now, the shock of Obama's Pastorgate has all but faded, Bosniagate is a memory as dim as Hillary's own, and the goldfish-like minds of American voters have returned to a moribund state of equilibrium. Now it seems that the only thing left to do is wait for the scandal reruns of the general election. Meh.

And please, don't even try to give me that stuff about the Pennsylvania primary. If Hillary wins that thing, it doesn't change anything. If she loses, it probably won't change anything either. Hillary is the female, non-pastor Huckabee of the Democrats. Who cares if it becomes statistically impossible to win? That's what miracles are for!

When Obama compared the race to a movie that's gone on for too long, Hillary retorted that she likes long movies. I like long movies too -- but only long movies that happen to be entertaining. Right now, this race is kind of like "Gods and Generals": a slow, preachy, overwrought clunker that leaves you with the terrible feeling that several irreplaceable hours of your life have been stolen forever. No offense to people who actually liked that movie.

As a patriotic American, I don't demand honest political contests, or decent candidates. But when politics ceases to be even slightly amusing, I feel that I have the sacred duty to demand change.

The race needs to end immediately. Howard Dean can decide how to work it out; it doesn't matter how he does it:

Rock-paper-scissors.
Coin-toss.
Arm-wrestling.
Thumb-wrestling.
Bloody-battle-to-the-death.

It's all good.

Please Howard, just make something happen. If you can't end the race, at least make a spectacle of yourself in public. You know, something like attacking a homeless person, or biting off a reporter's ear. Again, your choice. You may never achieve your dream of becoming the president, but you can save the American public from boredom. Sure, it's not much, but it should give you an edge over Jimmy Carter.

Lousy peanut farmer.

Moses Is Gone...

... and suddenly, the NRA is a lot less cool.